


Moving On

by KiraLiven



Category: Underland Chronicles
Genre: Friendship, Hurt-Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-28
Updated: 2014-01-07
Packaged: 2014-01-11 05:27:48
Rating: K+
Chapters: 17
Words: 19,812
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9800879/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/5197074/KiraLiven
Summary: You'd think that after 6 years, Gregor would've moved on by now. Gregor after the series. His struggles as he goes through the troubles of making/having friends. Warning: Spoilers Slight Luxa/Gregor





	1. Ares I

One of those 'popular' and 'cute' girls sidled up to Gregor. Again.

"Hey, Greg." She said, flashing him a smile and twirling her hair around her fingers.

"Hey." Gregor didn't understand why they even bothered. He was probably the quietest boy in the entire school, and he never made an effort to make friends. He didn't want friends. Life in the Underland had taught him what happened when you got to close to people. He avoided it as much as possible, but that didn't stop lots of the girls from trying.

"So, I was thinking, I'm going to a party this Friday, and I don't have a date. You wanna-"

"Sorry, busy." Gregor lied. He lied a lot these days. Years. Ever since moving to Virginia, actually.

"Oh." The hurt look that appeared on her face made Gregor feel a bit bad, but he really couldn't go with her.

The first time Gregor had even tried to go out with someone, he immediately thought about _her._ He called her to cancel, didn't even suggest doing it another time. He spent that night on his bed, looking at his picture of her, wondering if she was doing the same.

Gregor shook himself out of the memory. He couldn't afford to think of her. Not now, not ever.

_She's probably moved on, anyway._ He told himself. _So you do that too._ But he knew he would never do that. It wasn't just letting go of her, it was letting go of the whole Underland. And he couldn't do that. Boots–Margret, now–had already forgotten most of their adventures there, only knowing through stories. Lizzie remembered, and so did their dad, but their mom tried to forget. She forbid talking about that place, but they all told stories to Boots for bedtime. More than once she's had nightmares because of it.

"What the hell, man?" Gregor's one 'friend,' or the closest one he had to one, Sam, pulled Gregor out of his thoughts.

"What?" Gregor snapped out of it.

"You just turned down Katie. She's hot, popular, nice, and not trashy. Why did you turn her down?"

"You know I don't go out, Sam." Gregor sighed. He just wanted to leave. He wanted to leave school, wanted to leave 'home,' wanted to leave Virginia, wanted to escape to the Underland. But that was no longer an option.

"Why not? Dude, we're graduating next year, and you haven't dated once."

"I have…" Gregor tried to steel himself from the lecture he knew he would get.

"You definitely have not!" Sam looked frustrated. "That one time you almost went out with Rachel, that doesn't count. You need to get out there. I'm your only friend, and I know about you as much as the next person."

"So?"

"So you need to stop being so secretive and isolated! Get out there! Make friends, talk to people, don't push people away!"

"You don't know what happens to my friends!" Gregor bellowed, standing up and clenching his fists. He regretted it immediately. All these years, and he had stopped trying to control his temper. Avoiding incidents was all he could do.

"I am your friend, Gregor? I've been your friend since the eighth grade! Nothing has happened to me!" Sam stood up as well. "Gregor, whatever happened back in NYC, it's not gonna happen here."

"You don't understand." Gregor looked down, ashamed. He slowly sat back down.

"Yeah, because you shut me out, like everyone else. How can Margret and Lizzie even tolerate you at home?"

"I don't shut them out." Gregor mumbled.

"Then why do you shut the rest of us out?"

"Because…" Gregor seemed to be talking to himself now. "Because my heart's too full… Ares is too big… I can't hold anyone else in there… There's no more space…"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Gregor's head snapped up as he realized that he had spoken outloud.

"Nothing. I just… There are only so many people I can look out for."

"Look, I get that you had a lot on your hands back in New York, but it's different here. And you'll be going to college soon. Your sisters can take care of themselves. Your parents are fine. Why do you still push everyone away?"

"I gotta go." Gregor got up, leaving his 'friend.'

He spent the rest of the day trying to erase the memory of his best friend lying dead beside him, wishing he were dead as well.

**Wow, this was supposed to be about Luxa/Gregor… I'm near tears. Review/PM me if you hated the ending to the last book! I can't believe Suzanne Collins would do that to us! ;(**


	2. Thalia

**At first I wasn't sure if I would continue this, but...**

Thalia

"Hey, Gregor." Gregor groaned inwardly. Ever since first asking him out, Katie had not left him alone. Granted, she didn't ask him out again, probably figuring that he wouldn't say yes, but even sitting down at his table was annoying enough.

Gregor sat with Sam and two of Sam's friends, none of which were remotely popular. As a result, when someone popular like Katie sat at their table, people stared. Especially when she didn't merely ask a question, get rejected, and leave dejectedly.

"Hey, Katie." Gregor responded tiredly. Gregor didn't really want to be friends with her, didn't want to be friends with anyone, but he was polite, at least. If someone were to say hi, he had to say hi back, at least.

"So, Gregor, Sam, Gen, Harry," Kati said in her perky way, talking to the four people at the table, "I was wondering if you guys wanted to go to the woods with some of my friends and I, over the weekend. Not far, we'll just go to Sarah's cabin there, stay the night."

"Who's going?" Sam asked, giving Gregor a look that clearly meant 'you better come.'

"Oh, Sarah, Rachel, Claire and their boyfriends, Max, Connor, and Eric. I think Thalia's coming too." At that name, Gregor had made up his mind. There was no way he was staying overnight with someone named Thalia. No way.

"Sorry." Gregor gave as sympathetic of a grin as he could, ignoring the glare Sam sent him. "Busy over the weekend."

"Doing what?" Sam demanded. "You're never doing things over the weekend, because you have no life." _No, I don't,_ Gregor agreed. "So why don't you want to go? Rachel probably doesn't give a damn about that time you ditched her–"

"I didn't ditch her."

"No, you two never even met up! So why not go?"

"I said, I'm busy."

"What're you doing, then?"

"My family needs me." The lie-that-wasn't-a-total-lie slipped out of Gregor's mouth.

"Then let's ask your parents and your whole family if you can go. I've met your mom, I'm sure she'd be okay with you leaving overnight." Gregor snorted.

"My mom is the most overprotective person on the planet." He said. "I tell her I'll be going to the woods overnight, and she'll stay up all night next to the phone. If I end up a minute late, she'll yell at me. No thanks."

"But you'd still be able to go, right? If you asked?" Katie interrupted, an eager and slightly hopeful look on her face. "Gen and Harry said they could probably go. There'll be booze. We'll pull an all-nighter, probably go out and explore a bit. We could use someone like you, not afraid of anything. I'm afraid of bugs, Sarah's afraid of spiders, and I'm pretty sure Thalia's afraid of the dark." Katie grinned. Gregor was about to tell her that there was no way Thalia could be afraid of the dark before remembering that the Thalia they were talking about was the human, not the bat.

"How do you even know if I'm not afraid of anything?" Gregor asked instead.

"The other day, you kept people from stepping on a cockroach. I totally heard of that. They said you yelled at people to go away, then lightly picked the cockroach up and set it free outside. So I know you're not afraid of bugs, and you care about life."

_So that must be why girls ask me out_, Gregor thought to himself.

"Well, they don't deserve to die." Gregor said. "You don't know what it has done in its lifetime. Maybe something it did could've saved your life." Katie gave him a strange look.

"Okay…" She said slowly. "Anyway, will you come? And you too, Sam?" She sent a smile in Sam's direction.

"Definitely." Sam said. "And I'll get this introvert to come too, I promise."

"Mighty big promise." Gregor remarked. Sam elbowed him. "I don't like the woods." He announced.

Sam shook his head. "Worse excuse ever." Sam told him. This time, Gregor elbowed him.

"Why don't you want to go?" Katie asked, and the question seemed genuine enough. "If it's someone going, even if it's me, just tell me. And I'll let it go if it's a good reason."

Gregor thought for a while. She wanted honesty, so he might as well give her that.

"Well, the main reason is because I don't really…" Gregor tried to find a way to say it. "Like people. I don't really like making friends, having any… Attachment. I find it harder when you have to let go."

"That's awfully lonely." Katie said. "And what about Sam, and Gen, and Harry?" There was a hidden 'and me' in there, but she didn't say it.

"Gen and Harry… And even Sam…" He cast his eyes over them and saw them watching him intently. "The people I count as friends are really close to me and know lots about me. I would die for them, they for me, and I trust them with my life. No offence, but there's no one here that fits that description." Sam grunted, but didn't say anything.

"The second reason, the reason I don't want to go on this particular trip, is because of Thalia. I don't want to stay overnight with someone named Thalia."

"Why not? Do you even know Thalia?"

"No. Not the one you're talking about."

"You knew a Thalia, once?" Katie's voice had gone softer, as if she knew how personal this was getting. How horribly close to his heart.

"She… She's gone now." Gregor closed his eyes and tried to fight the tears. "And she's not coming back." He managed. "And it's all my fault." Gregor stood up. He couldn't believe he had told four people, people he didn't really know and frankly didn't truly trust, about someone from the Underland. Granted, they didn't know she was from the Underland, but it was still bad. "Don't tell this to anyone." He hissed, eyes still closed, leaning towards them. He used echolocation to 'see' their faces, and it seemed like they were sad, confused, and sympathetic. He didn't want their sympathy. He didn't want to even talk to them.

~0~

Gregor didn't talk to anyone for days. Three, to be precise. He came home that day, nodded to his grandmother in bed, and locked himself in his room. He didn't talk to his family during dinner, only listened to Margret and Lizzie chatter on about their day. Gregor didn't need to pretend to be happy. He rarely smiled these days anyway, so there was no need for a fake one.

His dad, on the second night, came into his room to ask what was wrong. He pretended to be asleep. His mom tried, while he was still obviously awake, but he just shook his head and went back to doing homework.

Sam tried to talk to him, but he shook his head, just as he had with his mother. Katie still sat at their table, but she didn't talk to him. She chatted with Gen, mostly, although also with Harry and Sam, but didn't give him a second glance. Until the third day.

"When was it?" Katie's question came up out of the blue, right after a lull in the conversation. It was a vague question, but obviously directed at him and obviously talking about Thalia.

"I was around twelve, thirteen. We moved soon after." Gregor didn't know what led him to talk, why he felt the need to speak again. His mouth was going to get him into trouble soon. Was going to get the Underland in trouble. More trouble than it was already in. (Although, Gregor didn't know how it was at the moment. Perhaps it was in the middle of peace, what with Ripred and Luxa being bonds.)

"That's really young." Sam said quietly.

"How old…" Katie hesitated. "How old was she?"

"Young." Gregor couldn't quite say her age, as bats mature differently than humans, and so he didn't actually know how old she was. "Much too young." They lapsed into silence after that, no one quite knowing what to say, and yet wanting to end the silence.

In the end, it was Gregor who cut through the silence, right before the end of lunch.

"What did the wall say to the other wall?" He asked in a somewhat hoarse voice. Everyone looked up at him, surprised. "Meet you at the corner." With that, Gregor stood up, imagining Thalia's cute laughter mixed with hiccups as she heard his joke. The last joke she ever heard.

**Okay, this is really sad. I love Thalia, totally cried at her death. Kinda OOC, but I'm not quite sure how a more mature Gregor who hasn't moved on would feel like, so...**


	3. Hamnet

Hamnet

It was hard, but after a month, Gregor had to acknowledge that Sam, Gen, Harry, and Katie were actually people he could call friends. They didn't talk about Thalia again, but they also never mentioned the trip over the weekend, and none of them ended up going.

It amused Gregor that they were seniors, it was their last year there, and yet only now did Gregor find himself opening up, telling stories, letting people know about his life. He kept the Underland a secret, but he did talk about Ms. Cormaci and his family, friends that they had in New York. He didn't mention Underlanders, his father's disappearance, but otherwise, there was no big barrier that prevented him from speaking. Sam looked as if his life were complete.

"I can't believe it!" Gregor had once heard Sam whisper to their friends as Gregor got up to throw something away. "He's actually talking! Way to go, guys!" His keen ears were something Gregor didn't mention.

After two months, Gregor invited them over to his house. He hadn't been asked anywhere, perhaps because Gen, Harry, and Sam had become accustomed to not inviting him, and because Katie knew he would be uncomfortable with people he didn't know, but either way, it would be the first time he hung out with them outside of school. They were a bit too eager to say yes.

But the day they would go afterschool to Gregor's house, everything went wrong.

Gregor had gone to school, like always, early. He had to drop Lizzie and Margret off at their school, and their school started earlier than his. He kept to the shadows as always, heading off to his locker and then to his homeroom class.

That day, however, people had decided that it was a great day to ask him what the hell was going on. A group of four, who Gregor recognized as Max, Justin, John, and Josh, the jocks of the school, stopped Gregor before he could get to his homeroom.

"Hey, look." Max said. Gregor disliked him immediately. "It's the 'unattainable' and 'misunderstood.' The one Katie's taken a liking to." Max sneered.

"Let me tell you one thing, buddy." Justin stepped forward in what was probably supposed to be a menacing way, but when you've faced off giant rats, serpents, ants, and the Bane, who was a giant of giant rats, a puny human who thought he was cool was no menacing at all. "Katie might seem to like you, but trust me, she's mine." In the back of Gregor's mind, he seemed to remember that Katie had once dated Justin, but they had broken up last week. "So back off." Justin stepped forward again.

Gregor hadn't wanted to. Justin had just stepped a bit too close for comfort, and then suddenly his vision had split and he knew all the weaknesses Justin had, and his arm was shooting out to hit that one point that could kill… _No!_ Gregor regained control at the last minute, and managed to move his arm so that Justin was knocked unconscious instead. But that was enough.

The rest of the gang looked like they wanted to kill him, but Justin was being supported by John and Josh, and Max also looked scared, so no one rushed at him. Gregor was relieved. He tried his hardest to avoid fights, but in doing so, had no way to control his rager side. Using Hamnet's words from so long ago as a guide, Gregor had managed to not lay a hand on anyone for four years. He had hidden, intimidated, and avoided fighting.

"Oh, man." Gregor managed. "I'm sorry. I didn't–" He realized that talking wouldn't help. "You want me to help get him–"

Max cursed at him, telling him to go away. Gregor ran to homeroom.

He couldn't stop thinking about how close he had come to killing a more-or-less innocent person, just because he had, sort of, felt threatened. He would never get this rager thing down. Remembering how his raging had abandoned him and nearly gotten him killed, he tried to find a pattern. He had long ago figured there wasn't one, but he tried to find one anyway.

Thinking of his rager side and of the forest, where it had first been both prominent and nonexistent, reminded him of how he had even managed to not get into fights. Hamnet.

The wonderful pacifist had made many mistakes in his life, and had tried to keep Gregor from killing. Gregor, of course, was the warrior then, destined to kill many and save many, but understood at the same time the value of not fighting. The value of diplomacy. Hamnet's last request had been for Hazard not to become a warrior or soldier, like Hamnet had been before.

It pained Gregor that although he had made sure that others, namely Luxa and Vikus and even Hazard, knew of Hamnet's dying wishes, Gregor himself was not there to make sure they were being fulfilled. But there was no way Gregor was going to find a way all the way north to New York, then pop down just to ask how Hazard was doing. No matter how much he wanted to be back there, where he had friends, where people understood, knew. Where Hazard and Luxa and Howard and Mareth were. And everyone else, their flier bonds (the ones still alive), good gnawers like Lapblood, Ripred, and… come to think of it, they were the only good gnawers that Gregor knew that were still alive. Regardless, there were many more in the Underland he wanted to be with again, learn of how they were after all these years…

Memories and fantasies clouded Gregor's thoughts that day, memories of days with people now long gone, fantasies of coming back. Some were good, some were bad. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he withdrew a bit from his Overlander friends. They asked him if he was okay, and he shook himself out of it.

"Yeah." He managed. "Just… Remembering."

"Remembering what?" Katie gave him a prompting smile.

"People that I will never see again." That statement wiped Katie's smile off her face.

"Like Thalia?"

Gregor shrugged, not wanting to talk about it. "Enough of that, let's talk about something else."

"Oh, we're studying Shakespeare's life in History." Gen tried. Gen was into History, Harry into English, Sam into math, and Gregor into Science. "Like, his works and stuff like that… I don't really know why we're doing it, especially since we learned this three years ago, but I'm not gonna argue."

"Are you gonna learn about his family and stuff, too?" Harry asked. Harry and Gen had recently gotten together, and it was obvious that they were head-over-heels. It sickened Gregor sometimes, how lovey-dovey they were. Although the twist in his stomach could also be because of jealousy. There was no way Gregor could have that with someone. Not while he was an Overlander and she was an Underlander.

"We've already talked a bit about his family." Gen answered. "It's so sad, isn't it, that his son died at 11?"

"I've heard of worse." Somehow, it always led back to death, and Gregor didn't really like it. _I've _known _people who died at younger, knew people whose 'pups' were killed at a young age. Like Ripred._

At his remark, Gen fell silent, but Harry defended her. "Well, it's still sad, isn't it?" Harry said. "Just because there have been worse doesn't mean they're not all sad." Gregor nodded.

"I guess." He managed.

"Yeah, I think Hamnet died of the Bubonic Plague, though it's unknown. Connected to Hamlet, obviously." Gregor perked up at this.

"Hamnet?" He asked, yet at the same time wondering why he couldn't stop thinking of the Underland.

"Yeah, Shakespeare's son."

"I knew a Hamnet…" Gregor frowned. "He was a great man." _And a great father, a great general, a great everything._ He added in his mind._ Shame he died. He was great at death, too, though. Died for a cause, died a hero._

"Oh no, you used was." Sam groaned. "Do you not know people who're still alive?" Gregor hoped Sam regretted what he said. If he wasn't, he would be very soon.

"Why do you think I didn't want friends?" Gregor yelled, getting up. "Everyone I knew, everyone I cared about, got hurt or worse." His friends had a shocked expression on their faces, but Gregor had to continue. "Sometimes it was my fault, but the thing about it is, I bring harm to everyone. Everyone I care about."

"Maybe it's worth it." Katie suggested in a placating voice. "Maybe your friendship is worth it."

"Worth getting killed for?" Gregor snarled. "I'm basically cursed."

"Well, we're still alive. So are your parents, your siblings, your family. Maybe you're not cursed. Maybe it's just coincidence." Gregor shook his head.

"Like I said, sometimes it's my fault." As he spoke, unconsciously louder than usual, he could hear the sound bounce off people and return to him, his mind automatically giving him a bigger picture, past his line of sight. Everyone was staring at him.

"Fine. Then I'm willing to get hurt." Katie said. "I've decided that you're worth it. As long as you don't push away again." Gregor managed a smile.

"Thanks." He said, sitting back down. "But can you not mention this to anyone at home? Especially Lizzie. She gets paranoid when it gets to my temper."

"Why? Have you done anything horrible because you simply got mad?" Harry joked. What was with this day? Gregor wondered how everything seemed to move back to the Underland and his experiences there.

"I nearly did, this morning." Gregor tried to be light about it. "Nearly killed that guy… Justin. Changed my strike just in time, he only got knocked out." As silence met his statement, spoken so nonchalantly, Gregor decided that he was done with Underland-related things such as his temper, death, or people. "Well, I've got to go," He announced, getting up. "But we'll meet at the front, yeah? And then get to my house?" Slightly uneasy nods came as a response. Gregor idly wondered if they'd end up going at all, after what they had just learned about him.

He doubted it.

**Well, okay, I tried to make it about Hamnet. Not quite sure why I chose Hamnet, but… Also, I feel like his personality wasn't quite the same throughout the entire thing… Oh well. What's done is done. Feel free to give suggestions on people (I guess they could be alive, though I've been doing dead people) and even scenarios for me to write. You know, if anyone even reads this.**


	4. Luxa

**Wow, I just realized that I wrote three of these in a day… Just posting them now, but like… :)**

Luxa

Surprisingly, all four of his friends were in front of the school to meet Gregor. Unsurprisingly, Gen and Harry announced that they had decided to go on a date, claiming that their parents would think they were at Gregor's and wanted them to cover for the two. They let them go, ignoring the fact that the two had gone out plenty of times before, with no problems.

Right as they got into the car, Gregor got a text from his mom. "Oh, guys," He said after reading it, "Could we just swing by and pick up my sister? It'll be quick." He flashed a smile at Katie, sitting beside him, and Sam sitting in the back (albeit begrudgingly).

Lizzie was not quite happy to see his friends. Gregor had talked about them, and Lizzie knew they were coming, but she walked toward the passenger seat, saw Katie, and froze. Gregor rolled down the window.

"Lizzie, could you just sit in the back with Sam?" He called across Katie. Katie gave a tentative smile towards Lizzie, but she just stared.

"Hi, Lizzie." Katie said. Sam opened the door, inviting her in. Lizzie didn't move.

"Lizzie, not now." Gregor pleaded with his eyes. "Just get into the car, Lizzie. Please. Sam can ask you math questions if you need it." Lizzie didn't move, just stared at Katie. Katie shifted uncomfortably.

"Do you want to sit in the front, Lizzie?" Katie asked, unbuckling her seatbelt. Katie exited, and got into the backseat. Lizzie's eyes followed her, but otherwise, she didn't move.

"Lizzie, please get into the car." Gregor looked at her, hoping, praying Lizzie would move, would get in, and wouldn't make a comment.

"I'm not getting into the car of a stranger." Lizzie said. "Not into the car of an imposter."

"Then ask me a question I would know the answer to but an imposter wouldn't." Gregor couldn't believe this. Not today, of all days. Why was Lizzie being difficult?

"What was the first puzzle Ripred asked me and what was the answer?"

"Lizzie, I said one I would know."

"Just generally, what it was about."

"About, like, food, and Ripred was the answer." Behind him, Gregor heard Katie ask Sam who Ripred was, and Sam reply that he didn't know.

"Fine. You're not an imposter, just a hypocrite, and I'm not getting into the car of a hypocrite."

"Lizzie, get into the car!" Gregor raised his voice enough to intimidate her. Lizzie didn't flinch.

"You haven't been practicing." It was a statement, not a question.

"Lizzie, if you don't get into the car in ten seconds, I am driving away without you. You'll be stuck here for at least an hour before mom comes home and finds that you're gone."

"You'll get into trouble. You've gotten in enough trouble lately. And I'll bet you hit someone today, which is more trouble."

"Lizzie!"

"You won't leave, you want to know why."

"If you've found out, why are you still trying my patience?" Gregor growled.

"You wouldn't dare hurt me." But there was a hint of something, fear, apprehension, that glinted in her eyes. Gregor sighed. She was right, of course.

"Lizzie, please get into the car. We can talk about this at home."

"_They'll_ be there."

"They're here now. Please get into the car."

Finally, Lizzie lifter her eyes from the ground and hefted her backpack. She stepped into the car, strapping herself in. They were silent for the rest of the ride.

When they got home, everyone filed out silently. Gregor unlocked the door, let everyone in, and got dragged into the other room by Lizzie. He could only hope Sam and Katie stayed in the other room and found something to do. Some host he was.

"What the hell?" Lizzie demanded as soon as they were out of earshot.

"I could ask you the same question." Gregor snarled. "Why were you being so annoying?"

"Me? Annoying? Here you are, driving around with a pretty girl in the passenger seat, pretending she doesn't even exist!"

"I am not! Katie is a friend, and nothing more. No one will ever be anything more."

"I thought you said, have always said, ever since then, that 'friend' meant you would die for them, they for you, and you would trust them with your life! They are not your friends!"

"And I would die for them!"

"And they are nothing but selfish Overlanders!" At least Lizzie lowered her voice when she said 'Overlander.'

"What do you care, anyway? You've moved on quite well!"

"You were in love with her!"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Everything!"

"No, it doesn't! She's probably moved on! She's probably found someone else, while I'll just live my life lonely, pining for her like I have the past five years!"

"But you're not anymore!"

"I am! I'm never going to go out with anyone, never going to love anyone romantically. But that doesn't mean I'll never have friends!"

"You know, Gregor, I think it does. I think you've moved on."

"I promise you, I have not."

"Do you even still rage? Can you still use echolocation? Do you remember names of people?"

"Yes. I do, I can, yes to all three."

Lizzie was silent for a moment, and Gregor thought she'd let him go. But then she spoke again, and he wished she didn't.

"She looks like her." Lizzie said quietly, looking at the door where, on the other side, Katie and Sam were waiting.

"Don't say that."

"It's true. That's why it shocked me so much. They look alike."

"Except one's an Overlander, the other an Underlander."

"Which is why I thought you had moved on."

"And as I said, I will never do so."

"Neither will I." Lizzie left the room, going into her own and leaving him to mourn for the heart he had so foolishly given to a girl he could never have.

**Not quite all about Luxa, not very sad, sounded better in my head. Choppy. I'm not quite sure what I was trying to achieve here. Is Lizzie OOC?**

**Has anyone noticed my choice of names in this story? No? Well, they're all pretty common names, and all names of book characters. (Gen is Genevieve, for Ginny in HP, Claire is Clarisse, the rest their actual names) Oh, except for Josh and Justin. Those aren't from books. (Although I'm pretty sure there's a book character named Josh/Justin…) I think I used… three, four books? Each has at least two names from them. I tried to make it equal, but whatever. I suck at names. Just do the first ones that pop into my head.**


	5. Ares II

**I wasn't quite so happy with the first chapter, which was basically a Luxa-turned-Ares chapter, so this is really the better Ares one.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed, they made my day! I'm actually surprised it's gotten this far… If anyone has ideas, feel free to give me some. I'm kinda running out.**

Ares (II)

_Gregor was falling. He was free-falling down, down, down, into the Underland. No, he was already in the Underland. He was falling further down, and there was no telling what would be waiting for him at the bottom._

_It was pitch black, but Gregor's echolocation helped him 'see.' Stone walls were whooshing past, and as soon as Gregor could get a mental picture, he knew that he had already fallen at least a foot._

_Soon Gregor's labored breathing bounced off the bottom. It was filled with rats, all ready to eat him. _

_Like always, Gregor panicked. He wasn't necessarily scared of falling anymore, what with Ares and all, but if Ares didn't hurry up and pick him up, Gregor was going to be rat food._

_He was five feet away._

"_Ares?!" He called out._

_Four feet._

"_Ares!"_

_Three feet._

"_ARES!" He screamed at the top of his lungs._

_Two feet._

_One._

Gregor woke up in sweat. Like always, he had woken up as soon as he realized there was no hope left and right before the gnawers at the bottom ate him.

Right when he realized Ares had died.

Even though this happened nearly every day, had been since he had left, Gregor curled up and cried.

"Ares…" He sobbed. "Oh, Ares…"

Drying his tears, Gregor reached under his pillow for Ares' claw, which had been made into a necklace. Gregor used to wear it every day, but his mom forbid him after the second year. (Boots saw it and asked what it was. That was not a happy day.)

Ares' claw, worn down from the constant use over the years, was smooth all-around. Gregor grasped it in his hand.

"Ares the flier I bond to you…" Gregor whispered his oath in the dark.

Gregor went to school same as always, without a hint of the nightmares that had haunted him since the death of his bond.

No one noticed how Gregor wasn't smiling–it was normal. No one asked if he was okay–it was natural for Gregor to look that way. No one asked him if he was tired–Gregor always was. No one looked twice at Gregor's attire–he often wore black, anyway.

Not even Gregor's newfound friends thought anything about it. It happened every night, so during the day, it was normal for Gregor to look that way.

But that day wasn't like any other day.

That day was the day that marked exactly six years since Ares' death.

**Short, but I hope it was… okay? Sorry if the timing is weird or I made the seasons go wack. I'm bad with seasons, and I was a bit too lazy to look for the day Ares died… Sorry.**

**Not really part of the non-existent plot of this story, but I figured he'd seclude himself on this day. And it'd kinda be weird to tell them about ANOTHER friend who died when Gregor was 12/13 and was related to ancient Greeks.**

**Constructive Criticism, please! I know I've made mistakes and my writing could definitely get better, so anything useful would be appreciated.**


	6. Lizzie

**Okay, so I sorta made the mistake of checking my email, which led to checking my account, which I wasn't supposed to do, because I was supposed to be doing homework. But, none of it's really all too important… And I have time… So I'll just do this for now.**

**Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, I was pretty surprised when I checked my email. (Happy for that many reviews, angry because it meant I was not going to be doing anything other than fanfiction… woops)**

**And replies to some of the reviews (Answering questions/confirming things):**

**aero31aero: Thanks. No, I wasn't planning on getting him to move on… And I wasn't really planning on him having anything more to do with the Underland… If you've read my other stuff, you'll notice I rarely do happy. Happy and I don't mix well. But maybe I'll do one… (Related to Luxa and Gregor meeting, that is)**

**koryandrs: That wasn't exactly a flashback… More like a dream. You know, the ones he had a lot throughout the books? And a big villain… Good idea, still thinking about that, though, might take a while. OCs are hard to find and even harder to make. (If I'm gonna use an OC…)**

**Regina (guest): Well, I don't know about GLUXA… Probably. And there will not be any Katie. I don't like my OCs, they have no actual character, and so they're really only there for outside views/reactions and about Gregor opening up and whatever. Don't worry. :)**

**Okay, I'm finally going to get on with the plot! (Although I don't have one at the moment…)**

* * *

Gregor knew that Lizzie was suffering as much as he was. He knew that Lizzie had no friends, like him, although that might've happened if they moved regardless of the Underworld or not. But out of the entire family, Lizzie and Gregor suffered the most.

Dad had both good and bad memories of the Underland. Mostly bad, yeah, but he had been to other places there that were enough for him to understand why one would get attached to it. But he only understood, and he hadn't really ever wanted to go back.

Mom, of course, had only a bad view of the place. To her, it was the place that had taken her entire family away from her, smashed them on the ground, and left her to try and put them back together with shaky hands. With her, one mention of the place would pull the only loose thread of her dam in her mind, and the whole thing would unravel, leaving her angry, frustrated and sad. She hated the place, and although Gregor felt the opposite, he could see where she came from.

Boots, as she had been known then, was now Margret. She no longer really remembered the Underland, and although she'll have random memories of enlarged animals, she would often just wave it aside. To her, it was neither scary nor unnatural, although she understood that it wasn't normal. Many of her memories she passed as imaginations of the stories they told her. The day Boots became Margret was the day, to Gregor, that his youngest sister left the Underland completely. No one ever called her Princess again.

But Lizzie only had relatively good memories of the place. She had, of course, been surprised and slightly traumatized by the gigantic animals, larger versions than she was used to, and the fact that they could talk, but after a while she had calmed down. She had been in the code-cracking room nearly the entire time, and so missed almost all the violence. (She had witnessed wounds and injuries, but nothing all too severe.) And to top it all off, she had found someone who was a great father figure to her. Not that she really needed it, but while Gregor was busy and her mom and dad unavailable, Ripred had often been there for her. She missed him almost as much as Gregor missed Luxa.

So, Gregor and Lizzie suffered together, relived memories together, told each other stories. Gregor learned of what happened in the Overland while he was away, what went on through Lizzie's mind when she stepped into the Underland (well, fell, but that wasn't the point), and she learned of all his heroic and non-heroic actions. They grew closer while everyone around them was pushed away.

The day that marked the sixth year of not being in the Underland, Lizzie understood what Gregor was going through. She was going through it herself as well, although she hid it better.

The 'anniversary' of their leaving the Underland was always played off as normal, but it never was. Boots got more stories of the Underland from their father, and their mother always seemed more fake and trying-too-hard. Lizzie and Gregor, however, always locked themselves in their room and never came out until their hunger got the best of them. Lizzie almost always came out for dinner, but the adventures in the Underland had helped Gregor learn to go on without food for a while. He never came out all day except at night, when everyone was already asleep. But he never had too big of an appetite.

Everything reminded Gregor of something related to the Underland on that day, more than usual. He would see his desk and think, _I first found a cockroach on this desk, after I first fell._ He would walk outside and see the dining table and think it should've been stone. He would see the doors and remember how there was only one wooden door in Regalia's palace, and perhaps all of Regalia, and how everyone in the Overland took wood way too much for granted. Even plants reminded Gregor of the jungle.

Lizzie couldn't do any work on that day. She couldn't decode things, solve problems, it was as if her mind had shut down for the day. She would, however, only speak in Morse Code. Over the years, she and Gregor had managed to converse with each other, still locked in their rooms, through tapping on the wall. They had one wall connected to each other, and Gregor found that much of his day was spent in his dark, locked room, with one ear against the wall, listening for taps.

They never went to school that day, if they even needed it. Their mom always said that it was the death anniversary of their uncle and needed to go to a family gathering, or something like that. If anyone found out that it wasn't true, they didn't say anything.

Today, Gregor and Lizzie talked about what they thought Regalia, or even the entire Underland, was like now. They talked about the peace they must be in, the life they must have. They sympathized with the amount of work Luxa and Ripred must've gone through, and talked about their bond. They did not talk about the possibility that anyone they knew could be dead. The Underland must be under peace, which means that no one could have died. Not even from natural causes. Peace meant living.

_When do you think we'll go back?_ Lizzie tapped out to him while the family was eating lunch. Gregor froze.

_I don't know, Liz. I didn't know we were going back._ He tapped out, slower, to her. She was silent on the other side.

_Why not?_

It occurred to Gregor that Lizzie had clung to the hope that they were going back. That Lizzie thought they had a chance of getting back. But Gregor wasn't so sure. In this sense, at least, Gregor had moved on and accepted.

Gregor settled with: _Mom would never allow us._

_So? _Liz tapped out the dot-dot-dot dash-dash-dash, and for a moment Gregor had thought she was going to add another three dots, making it SOS. But she didn't, and Gregor didn't have to get up and run through the wall to save her.

_We wouldn't want to put this family through any more._

_Even if it means seeing everyone again? Even if it means we'll be happy again? We won't have to guess at what's happening? We won't have to lock ourselves in our rooms when we're too depressed to even eat. We'll have purpose, meaning in living again._

Gregor didn't answer. He walked away from the wall, lying down on the bed. He didn't know what to say to her. So he stayed silent, and eventually Lizzie left the wall as well, and, hours later, went out to eat dinner.

Maybe she had a purpose in life, even if it was to go back, but Gregor didn't know about himself.

He had left the purpose he had in life long ago–Six years, to be exact.

**I think I know where I'm going with this! Yay! I still don't know about Luxa appearing, but watch out for some Underlanders! (I think)**

**Hope you guys enjoyed this last chapter, although it wasn't very happy… So I don't know if enjoyed is the word… But, hope you liked it! :)**


	7. Echolocation I

**I'm really tired right now, so I apologize if this isn't very good. I'm also aware that this one's not titled a name, but it wasn't really based on a person, so...**

**This one was suggested by 2featherbraids, although it's not exactly like it.**

**Regina, if I were you, I would do that too. Gregor and Luxa should be together forever. Sadly, I don't think that's going to happen here.**

**illusion95, THANK YOU SO MUCH that means so much to me. Although maybe it's just because you haven't read better Underland fanfics…**

**Well, here it is!**

* * *

Echolocation

To say that Gregor regretted this was an understatement.

His mom and he had, for the first time since leaving the Underland, reconciled and become closer, warmer to each other, ever since Gregor had started to make an effort in making friends. Gregor pretended that nothing was different, but it made him feel better, knowing that he was making his mother proud, and not worried.

That was what was going through his mind when Gregor agreed to sleep over.

Anyway, he was told that you rarely got any sleep during sleepovers. He was also invited to go to a party with Katie, but he managed to decline that one. Compared to that, he hadn't thought this would be so hard.

But this was hard.

Sleepovers, apparently, no matter who is there, is for trading secrets and truth-or-dare, which is trading secrets for seeing your friends do embarrassing things. The dare part Gregor didn't mind so much, so he stuck to that most of the time. And then, they started playing truth-or-truth, which was redundant and Gregor wished they didn't call it that. The 'or' implied you had a choice.

So they asked him who he liked, and he said a girl from New York. They asked him when he had last seen her, which he answered truthfully. Then they asked him about his favorite things, people, friends he used to have. Secrets Gregor wouldn't have given if the punishment for not answering wasn't to run out the street, ring a random doorbell, and kiss whoever answered the door. Sadly, it was, and Gregor tried to twist the truth as much as he could so that he didn't tell anyone about the Underland. That was something no one would catch him on.

Now they were having 'confessions.' They each said one thing no one else knew about them, a skill, a secret, a guilty pleasure. There were the regular things, guilty things that everyone already knew about (but pretended they didn't), and there were also skills no one knew about, things people secretly like to do but no one else knew.

The first time around, Gregor said that he could use Morse code. Second time, that he played the saxophone. The third time, he varied and said he knew someone named Hazard. They laughed and told him to tell another one. He said that his sister and he sometimes communicated through Morse code. They were unsure about that one, but took it anyway.

Now it was the fourth round, and Gregor had to quickly think of a way to not have to say another one. What was he to say? What wouldn't give anything away? He couldn't talk about Ares' claw, couldn't talk about his nightmares, and couldn't talk about any of the skills he acquired in the Underland.

So, Gregor lay down and pretended to be tired. They bought it, and all lay down on their beds/sleeping bags. They talked some more, aimlessly, each telling stories and opinions and feelings. Gregor closed his eyes and used his echolocation to track his friends, 'see' their facial expressions. Soon enough, he fell asleep.

Gregor woke up in cold sweat. It had happened again. The dream of him falling down the shaft, then waking up right before he hit the rats. Right when Ares had failed to catch him.

His labored breathing lit up the room in his mind. All his friends were asleep. It was pitch black in the room (there were no lights outside the window), but Gregor could still 'see' everything. Gregor got up slowly, walking to the bathroom.

He didn't turn on the lights, but splashed water onto his face, peed, and then just sat down on the toilet lid, thinking. He thought about how much he regretted coming here. He thought about how he wished he were in the Underland. He thought about how he wanted to run away, go whichever way he wanted to go, without anyone holding him back.

Eventually, Gregor acknowledged that it would never happen. It hurt, but Gregor had long since learned that not thinking about the future could be dangerous. It might hurt when you came back to reality, but only living in the present could get you killed, if you didn't plan well enough.

Gregor finally stood up and slowly, silently, made his way back to his bed. Half-way there, however, he 'saw' that one of his friends were awake. Sam was sitting up, looking around, a confused expression on his face. Sam had most likely heard him, but didn't know who it was or where s/he even was. Gregor made it to his bed.

"Sam?" He whispered. Sam gave a start, and with that sound, Gregor sat on the bed. It creaked, but Gregor was pretty sure that Sam didn't hear it.

"Gregor?" Sam whispered back, squinting in Gregor's general direction. (He missed, but Sam couldn't exactly see in the dark, so he had an excuse.)

"Sam, why're you awake?" Gregor called out quietly in the dark.

"I could ask you the same question."

"Needed to go to the bathroom."

"With the lights off?"

"I couldn't find the light switch." Gregor quickly lied.

"How'd you find the toilet bowl then, if you couldn't find the light switch?" Sam sniggered. Gregor wracked his brain for something to say.

"The toilet's bigger." He said, as soon as Sam stopped laughing.

"Right. How'd you find your way back, then?"

"By feeling. How else?"

"That's funny. I heard you in the bathroom, but I didn't hear you come back, and then you spoke, at your bed. I didn't even know you moved. It was pretty quiet. How'd you feel without making a sound? When I'm blind, I always stub my toe."

Gregor shrugged, before remembering that Sam couldn't see him. "I dunno. Maybe your ears just weren't good enough."

"Yeah…" Sam's voice was laced with suspicion.

"Guys?" Katie's voice floated over.

"Yeah?" The two said together.

"What're you talking about?"

"Gregor's ability to somehow not knock into things in the dark." Sam responded.

"Maybe he's really good at remembering where things are." Katie suggested.

"Doubt it." Sam said.

"I'm right here." Gregor reminded them.

"Is that what it is, Gregor?" Katie asked. Again, Gregor shrugged.

"I really don't know. I just do it. Maybe it's just coincidence." Gregor said.

"Or maybe it's not." Sam mused aloud, sleepily. "Maybe you can see in the dark…"

"I'm tired." Katie yawned. "Goodnight, guys."

"Goodnight." The two said, just as sleepily. They lay down again, and soon, both Katie and Sam were asleep again.

Gregor stayed up the rest of the night, marveling at how close he was to having been caught echolocating.


	8. Echolocation II

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and heck, everyone who read/are reading this. This is definitely a continuation of the chapter before this, also about echolocation, hence the chapter title. Enjoy!**

* * *

Echolocation II

"I think he's hiding something really big from us." Gregor heard Sam whisper to Katie. He and Katie had walked off to throw away the remains of their lunch, but Gregor heard their conversation anyway. (The trashcan really wasn't that far.)

"Yeah. What were you talking about in the dark, during the sleepover?" Katie whispered back.

"He had walked to the bathroom, kept the lights off, and came back in the darkness. And he didn't make a noise. I feel like he could see somehow."

"Maybe we should confront him." They were heading back. Gregor pretended to be immersed in his food.

"I don't know… He might think of another excuse, or lie or something."

"Okay…"

They sat back down. It was just the three of them, as Gen and Harry stopped sitting at Gregor's table. (It was called that, because everyone else there had some other table they'd be welcome in.)

"Hey, you two wanna come with my cousin and I on a road trip?" Katie suggested.

Gregor wanted to shake his head, but knew it'd be rude.

"Who's your cousin?" Gregor asked. He considered saying what bad memories he has with cousins, his or not, but decided against it. "And when?"

"My cousin's Jane, and during break." Break was in one week.

"Is Jane nice?" Gregor asked.

"To me." The glimmer in Katie's eyes suggested that Jane wasn't always very nice to people aside from her.

Gregor had no worries about people that weren't nice, aside from the possibility of hurting them, but he had worries about going. He shrugged.

"I don't know. I'll ask my mom if I can go." He finally said. Sam quickly assented to the plan after hearing Gregor's answer.

Katie nodded. "Great! So Gregor, do you wear contacts?"

What type of question was that?

"No."

"Are your eyes good?"

"I guess. I think I'm around 20/20."

"Can you see in the dark?"

"When there's a bit of light." Oh, that was where it was going. Katie was blunt enough.

"Then how come in pitch darkness, you made your way silently from the bathroom to your bed?"

"I don't know." The words slipped out before he could help himself.

"Not a good enough excuse."

"Then ask me tomorrow, so I have time to think of one."

"Why don't you just give us the truth?"

"Because."

"What do you mean, because?"

"Because you shouldn't know."

"What does that mean?"

"It means I don't trust you." Katie was blunt, but two could play that game.

"After all this time?"

"Yeah."

"Go with us to that road trip, then decide."

"We'll need to go on many more adventures than a simple road trip."

"What do we need to earn your trust, then?"

"Save my life more than thrice." With that, Gregor looked back down, and it was clear the case was closed.

* * *

**Oops. They were supposed to find out here. Guess that's not going to happen until after they save his life thrice, or something like that. I hate it when I make plans and don't end up able to follow them. I guess Gregor didn't feel like trusting people with such secrets so soon. Oh well. I'm still trying to figure this all out… Tell me what you thought!**


	9. Katie

Gregor 9

**Oh my god, I'm so sorry for not writing in so long. So much for me to do lately. **

**To Jon (Guest): I know! It pisses me off! Especially since, when I reread it, I could actually understand why she did it… **

**Anyway, here is the next chapter! Enjoy!**

* * *

Katie

"Gregor, come on!" Katie groaned behind him. Gregor sighed in annoyance.

"I don't want to go, okay?" He snapped. He had started out polite at first, but then Katie became relentless, and he threw sensitivity out of the window. He guessed Katie did so as well.

"Why? Scared of leaving home?" Katie taunted. For the past three hours, Katie had tried to persuade him in different ways, and she was now turning to bullying and daring him into agreeing to it.

"Too scared to be on a road trip with someone I don't know." Gregor responded. He was far past being proud. Besides, not going was more important than his pride.

"Just ask your mom. You say she's going to say no, so just ask her, find out, and then say no!" Katie switched tactics again. "You have to at least ask her. At least _pretend_ you want to come!"

"Why should I? It'd be lying."

"You don't want to lie to your only friends! Then we wouldn't be friends, because friendship is all about trust." Katie even sounded sarcastic, and definitely not persuasive.

"I never asked for your friendship!" Gregor finally blew up. "I never asked for you to come talk to me, I never asked for you to even care! Okay? Just leave me alone!" People around stared at him. Katie's face was shocked, hurt, and Gregor was taken back to a different time, in a different place, where a different girl wore a similar expression. That time, he had also told her they weren't really friends. He had lied. But this time, he wasn't lying. There was no bat to jump onto as a way of escape, no rat to sniff out your love, no mission you had to put over your feelings. He was not taking this one back.

"Gregor…" Katie's face showed that even though he had never kept it a secret, she hadn't expected him to hate their friendship. He didn't exactly hate it, but he wished he could go back to the time where he didn't have to worry about trust and friends and keeping secrets.

"Katie, just go." Gregor turned away again. He was not going to apologize. Maybe this was for the better.

"No! This isn't healthy, Gregor." Katie grabbed his shoulder. Gregor stopped, not shoving her away, but not turning towards her either. "Gregor, it's not healthy for you to not have friends, not trust people. You have to let go of the past, move on. They'd want you to do that." Now Gregor turned.

"They'd want me to do that?" He yelled at her, indignant. Katie flinched away, but Gregor went on. "You don't know them! You don't know who I've lost!" Katie began backing away, but she started this, and she was going to hear the end of it. "You can't say that they'd want me to move on! They wouldn't! They have enough on their minds to move on, but I don't! I _won't_! And you don't know them, you're just saying things like this because it's the only thing you can think of! It's such a cliché and you just assume that it's true!" Katie opened her mouth to say something, but Gregor continued on. "You think it's not healthy, and maybe it's not! Yeah, I have trust issues; yeah I have problems with making friends, but you're not helping! I don't want to go on that trip with you or anyone else, I don't want to hang out with you or anyone else, I don't want to be friends with you or ANYONE ELSE!" Gregor yelled the last few words of the sentence. Katie's eyes glared at him so hard, he was certain there were going to be scorch marks.

"Fine." Katie said. "Fine, we'll all leave you alone. Fine, you will have no friends. You'll get what you want. Happy?" With that, Katie turned around and left.

Gregor turned the opposite direction and stormed off as well. He glared at the people gaping at him. "What?" He snapped, and they looked away hurriedly.

Gregor had left the building when he realized that his blood was buzzing. His eyesight hadn't fragmented, but he had been so dangerously close to raging, it was amazing he hadn't struck Katie. That would not have gone well at all.

_I don't need her_. He thought angrily to himself. _I don't need anyone. I did before, but I don't anymore. And I don't need to care for anyone but my family and me. The rest of them are just extra baggage. I'll do fine without them._

* * *

**This messes with my plan for the story. Oops? Guys, do you want him to move on or not? And should he go on the road trip? Tell me what you think! (Although I'll probably end up making it sad either way… Sorry!) And is this OOC? I'm kinda paranoid about these things, really don't like it if my characters are OOC… Constructive criticism appreciated!**


	10. Denial and Advice

**So, so, SO sorry I haven't updated in a while, super busy (I wasn't ignoring this on purpose, of course) and then I had writer's block for a while… **

**The reference to Luxa and Gregor's 'argument' (where Gregor gets mad at Luxa) that I made in the last chapter is from Marks of Secret, after they find Ripred and while they're flying… Can't quite remember the exact spot.**

**Well, enjoy!**

Denial and Advice

Katie didn't sit at Gregor's table the next day. Gregor didn't mind, oh no, of course not, why would he mind when he knew that what he said would result in her leaving him alone? He wanted to be left alone. He had done nothing wrong. There was no need for all the stares he was getting, all the dagger-eyes and glares. And it was fine that Sam had left too. Sure, Gregor wasn't mad at Sam, but he didn't need Sam anyway. He could do fine without friends.

He had often made mistakes in his life, but Gregor always apologized and meant it, using the advice his parents always gave. But Gregor had left apologizing behind, in the Underland, when he began to be much more sensitive to the outcasts and the ones that are different. Being chest-deep in debts to cockroaches would do that to someone.

There were often times where Gregor could have possibly apologized, but nothing ever really required that much effort and nothing was all that bad, when one has had to apologize to a rat in front of other rats, a bat, and a pacifist with a rocky background–especially when that thing was about saying bad things about the rat's pups, who were dying. Then again, there wasn't that much worse you could do to just one person than offend not only her dying and dead pups, but her entire species as well.

So as Gregor ate his lunch and wondered how Lapblood was doing, he realized that it was the first time in perhaps a week or so that he had thought of the Underland. His head had recently been so much in the Overland, he didn't have time to think of the Underland. But with no friends and no one to talk to, Gregor had a bit too much time. Perhaps friends had been good for him like many people had said.

But he wasn't going to apologize. He didn't need friends like them, who would force him to do things. Good friends looked out for each other. Good friends watch each other's backs. Good friends were like Ares, whom Gregor trusted above all others and who knew him like the back of his hand–erm, wing–or like Luxa, who helped him out when he needed it. Heck, even Ripred was a good friend, who although was aggressive and pushy, could also be gentle and helpful, and would lie for him, although it was often to him rather than for him. Gregor wondered how he had come to put Ripred under the category of 'friends,' and figured it must have been the 'saving his life because of mutual need' thing. Okay, so Katie and Sam didn't need him. Maybe that was why they didn't stick together. Then Gregor remembered that Gregor had pushed them away and he _wanted_ it that way, because why would he have told them to back off unless he meant it?

Gregor reviewed his list of friends. Mareth and Howard were added, along with Twitchtip and Hazard, Temp and even Tick, in the short amount of time they had known each other. They had all sacrificed, saved his or Boot's life. He was in debt to them. Life and death aside, though, Gregor figured the humans were not, in reality, all too different than Katie and Sam.

They were patient and understanding like Mareth, as well as thoughtful (more of Sam than Katie). Like Luxa, they were confident, strong, and independent people who knew how to push his buttons. They each had their own trade, their own duties and talents, and yet can relate with each other.

Gregor shook himself out of it. He was comparing Underlanders with Overlanders! That was one of his rules; The Underland and Overland are different places with different people that should never be compared or put of in the same sentence. He had just broken that. Not only did he break that rule, but he had also thought of practically everyone he had cared about in the Underland, minus Vikus, because Vikus was more of a mentor than a friend.

Gregor has got to stop. He told himself not to think of _that place_ all lunch, and failed within the first five minutes. There wasn't much else to think about, considering his day had been pretty uneventful and he had already shown his standing on the 'no friends' thing. (Just for clarification, it was that Gregor had done what he had meant to do and is not going to apologize.)

Gregor gave up and let his mind wander as he ate a lonely lunch. It surprised Gregor how much he missed the talking and the laughter that had found a place at the table recently. It hadn't been that long, compared to the amount of time without it, but Gregor still ached to have a reason to smile, even if it was a small one.

But that didn't mean he wanted his friends back. He wanted to smile, but that did not mean he wanted the reason to come from Katie and Sam. And he definitely didn't miss them.

Gregor had long grown out of asking his parents for advice, but somehow, he found himself sitting on his bed across from his dad, talking about his day. It wasn't a problem, although Gregor was talking to his dad about it, but it was something Gregor wanted his dad to know. He didn't need advice, just someone to talk to.

Evidently, his dad had misinterpreted Gregor and considered it a problem that he needed to give advice on–which, as said before, it wasn't.

"Are you sure it was a good idea to push them away, Gregor?" His dad said. Apparently, his dad was not properly listening to Gregor.

"Dad… I'm sure. I mean, yeah, friends are probably good for me, but maybe not those friends. I don't want to go on the trip and stuff, and they were putting too much pressure on me."

"Well, you don't have to. They can still be your friends, even if you don't go."

"She kept bothering me, trying to persuade me to go! None of my friends have ever done that!"

"Your mother would do that with me, back when we were dating."

"Not the point."

"No, precisely the point. The point is that you need friends–you said that yourself. You want to get closer to your friends instead of making more and more friends, which is perfectly fine. But you won't get closer with them if you keep pushing them away, and not hang out with them outside of school."

"Well, we're as close as we can get, without people trying to kill us."

"No, you can be closer. Trust me, even though you won't–at least, hopefully not–go through life and death situations, there are still many other places to go and things to do that will help you two bond–" His dad cut off, realizing what he had just said. Gregor looked at him sharply. "Help you two–three–become better friends and know each other better." His dad corrected cautiously.

"You don't become bonds with people of the same species. And I will never find someone as good as Ares."

"We do, Gregor. We do become bonds with other people. Those bonds are called siblings, loved ones, your wife. It's just that our lives are more peaceful than violent, and so when we promise that our lives be one, we mean through housing, through taking care of each other, money, sharing blessings."

"And it's less valuable here. People divorce all the time."

"Yes, but that's not the point. The point is, no matter where you are or who it is, you can always get as close as you did with the Underlanders. Maybe not these friends in particular, but you'll never know if they will become people as special as a bond. And you'll never know how to find someone if you never try to make friends."

"Doesn't even matter. They hate me."

"An apology can go a long way, Gregor."

"Not now. Not this."

"The first step is admitting you're wrong–to yourself, that is."

There was a pause as Gregor went over the conversation in surprise. _Man, dad's a really good parent. _He mused. _There's a good reason why he's a teacher, too._

"Right." Gregor finally said. "I guess I was wrong to say all of that."

"Okay, next is saying that you're sorry. You can do a public one, but that will pressure both you and her, and she will either think you're extremely sincere or trying to get everyone to like you–although, if you knows you, she won't think that. Or you can tell her privately, which will allow you to tell more secrets, but you won't be able to regulate the rumors as well, and again, the sincerity will be questioned. If you made the mistake in public, you should apologize in public because although you wronged her, everyone else saw it too, and they should know that you're sorry it happened."

"I know dad, you told me this years ago. It was this advice that helped me risk my neck to apologize to Lapblood, in front of three full-grown rats and a pacifist. Although, Lapblood and I became pretty close, so I guess that's good."

"See? If you can apologize to a rat, you can apologize to Katie."

"Yeah. I guess so. Thanks, dad."

"Thank me when it's finished."

**Who's watched Catching Fire? It's super good! I totally flipped and was sobbing and everything. I'm still kinda waiting for Suzanne Collins to sell the movie rights of Gregor, but I'm kinda worried too… They could easily ruin the entire thing…**

**So, I've finally decided! (Well, you guys decided for me…) He is going to go on the road trip/a trip with his friends (and Lizzie), somehow end up in the Underland, and then not move on. The last part I'm still figuring out. So as soon as I make them friends again, that's where this story's going. Please remind me if I get off track.**

**And, if I have made any mistakes or if I could've done something better, please tell me as well. Can't get better if I don't know what I've done wrong! **


	11. Apologies

**Thanks to everyone who's reading this and have reviewed, much appreciated. Sorry for these short chapters and for not updating all that quickly, I'm trying to update more frequently now.**

**Enjoy!**

Apologies

Gregor was going to do it first thing in the morning. He was going to apologize to her, first in public, and then in a more personal and private way. Gregor could only hope that she forgave him.

Their lockers were across from each other, so Gregor loitered until Katie appeared, purposefully greeting everyone but him.

Gregor approached her. She shunned him.

He cleared his throat. She ignored him.

"Hey, Katie…?" He started. She looked the other way. He continued, anyway. "Katie, I'm sorry." No response. "I was angry and wasn't thinking straight. I didn't mean any of it." Only as he spoke the words did he finally believe them. "I do want to be your friend, Katie. I've realized that that was what friendship was, having it even when you didn't ask for it." Katie started walking away. Gregor hesitated, but followed. "Katie…" He said, following her down a hallway he knew for a fact wasn't anywhere near her class.

"Gregor, not now." Katie kept walking. Gregor kept following.

Finally, they were in some remote part of the school that Gregor had no idea even existed, but Katie seemed to know about. Gregor opened his mouth to start talking, but Katie raised her hand to stop him.

"Gregor, I know you're sorry. I know you didn't mean everything you said. But, you know, it still hurt." Katie's face was sincere. It really did hurt her. "I was risking so much to be your friend, I had gotten so much criticism from even talking to you and Sam, but I still did it. I still wanted to be your friend. And then you went and threw it all in my face."

Gregor sighed, his shoulders sagging. "I know. I'm sorry. I… I was being selfish, only thinking of myself and how much I needed to keep certain things secret, how I needed to hold on to stuff, and I thought that I couldn't have friends or I'd lose it." Gregor had to be careful about what he said, or she'd ask more questions again. Katie was a curious girl.

"I know you have secrets, and you don't really have to tell us if you don't want to, but you do know that if you need it to be a secret, we'll keep it a secret. Sam and I, I mean."

"I know. I've just been so used to keeping secrets that I forgot it was sometimes easier to tell it and not be alone with the information."

Katie smiled. "Thanks, Gregor. And since we're coming clean to each other–" It wasn't quite true, but she thought it was– "I really wanted you to come on the road trip because I wanted to get to know you better, yeah, but also because I wanted to go but was scared to. I've never been all too far from home, and this trip will allow me to, but my cousin… She's a worldly person. She's sweet and means well, but she won't understand. And she used to scare me a lot, when we were kids. I wasn't quite comfortable going with her alone, and she said she might bring her boyfriend and a friend or two, so I wanted to bring friends too. They're in college, so…" Katie grinned sheepishly.

"Why didn't you ask some of your girlfriends?" Gregor asked. It wasn't just a suggestion, he was curious too.

"Because…" Katie hesitated. "To tell you the truth, I don't like them as much. They're annoying and flaky and fickle, but you and Sam… You two are real, loyal, true friends." Gregor frowned.

"I've been a horrible friend." He said, "You must really not have very good friends if I'm counted as a true friend."

Katie laughed, looking at Gregor like she couldn't believe him.

"What?" He demanded.

"You haven't had friends in a while, have you, Gregor?" Katie asked.

"Well… Aside from you two, no." Gregor said, still confused. She knew this, didn't she?

"When you're in elementary school, everyone's supposed to be friends and everyone's supposed to get along. Middle school, there shouldn't be serious fights, although there will be groups and cliques. High school, the adults stop caring. High school, you can break all the rules. That includes promises you make, any ethical rules you had, and you can break friendships. People stab each other in the back all the time here." Katie gave a breathless laugh, still amused. "That's why I like you and Sam. You two are true friends. No breaking promises, no backstabbing. You two are either too close or not close enough, and at the same time you have no one else to go to."

"Yeah… I guess…" Gregor paused, thinking. "I've always been really close to my friends, though, so I guess I don't know what it's like to have all that many friends who aren't as close as you could hope for. But I do know, rather well, that even your closest friend can stab you in the back."

Katie nodded. "That's kinda what it felt like when you yelled at me." She said quietly. "Like I'd been stabbed in the back by my closest friend."

_You're just like Henry!_ A voice rang inside Gregor's mind, the voice that haunted him every day. Luxa shouted at him in his head, being betrayed by her best friend, the one she had never thought would leave her, no matter how inevitable it was. _You're just as bad as Henry!_

"I…" Gregor closed his eyes, as if by doing so, he could block out Luxa's voice in his head, as if he could erase the eyes of Katie, hurt, telling him that he had that power again, the power to harm someone he cared about. He remembered why he never liked having friends. Not after Ares and Luxa. "I'm sorry, Katie." He finally said.

"I know you are." Gregor opened his eyes, and Katie smiled at him. "So I forgive you. And because our relationship is like that of two very mature kindergarteners, an apology is all that is needed for forgiveness, and simple words enough to become friends again. Agreed?"

"Agreed."

They shared a smile, and then Katie did something that nearly made Gregor change his mind. Katie reached over and hugged Gregor, who froze at the touch. What was he supposed to do? Awkwardly, he wrapped his arms around her. He patted her back twice, trying to signal to her that she could let go now, and she–thankfully–got the message and pulled away.

"Sorry." Katie didn't look very sorry. "We're already half-way through first period. You wanna skip?" Seeing Gregor's confused face, Katie rephrased. "Go somewhere else for this period. That way we don't have to go to class…?"

"Oh." His first period was science, his favorite subject. He never got any absences' and he got straight As. There was probably going to be a pop quiz and definitely a worksheet that Gregor would have so much fun doing, but he wouldn't be a good friend if he disagreed. "Sure. I've never done it before, so you'll have to teach me." Again, they shared a grin.

"Well, you're talking to the pro. C'mon." Katie grabbed his hand and dragged him to the exit. "Lets use my car, yeah?"


	12. Realizations

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed! It all means so much to me. This is a short chapter, but I've been busy… I'll try to write more often and stuff next time. :) Enjoy!**

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Katie texts Sam on their way out, telling them where they will be (although she wouldn't tell Gregor) and that he could catch up with them later. It hit Gregor that he might be skipping more than first period, and he cursed in his mind. Wednesday schedule was his favorite.

They drove along a road the Gregor didn't know, radio on, windows down, and Katie singing along to songs on the top of her lungs. He tried to look like he was having fun, but Katie was hurling down the street faster than he thought was legal and was getting slightly scared.

"Katie, you ever think of slowing down?" He yelled over the wind and the music.

"Why would I slow down?" She shouted back in glee. She started singing again.

"You're going to get us killed!" Gregor said. He had been gripping his seat tightly, and forced himself to let go. At least he had his seatbelt on.

"No such thing! These roads are safe!" Katie laughed loudly.

"Please, Katie?" Gregor begged.

Katie sighed. The car slowed–but only a bit.

"I knew you didn't like the music." She muttered under her breath. "Here's some music I think you might like." She plugged her iphone into the car, still at the same speed, which made Gregor's breath catch, and played a song. (Gregor saw–it was under a playlist labeled 'Gregor's music')

_Going back to the corner where I first saw you_

_Gonna camp in my sleeping bag, I'm not gonna move_

_Got some words on cardboard, got your picture in my hand_

_Saying if you see this girl can you tell her where I am_

_Some try to hand me money, they don't understand_

_I'm not broke I'm just a broken hearted man_

_I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do_

_How can I move on when I'm still in love with you…_

Gregor caught his breath. He turned away from Katie, looking out the window. He heard her quietly sing along to the chorus.

"They're called the Script." She informed him, even though he didn't ask. "They sing really sad songs, but sometimes you can relate, y'know? When you're down, you feel that at least someone understands." Another song, evidently by them, started playing.

"Yeah." Gregor said. He turned forward again. "I know." She really did care about him, he realized.

Katie suddenly pulled over and turned off the engine. "Here's a place everyone goes once in a while, became sorta a park for us teenagers. Come on." She hopped out of the car, and walked towards the grassy area. She jumped over the fence and beckoned to Gregor.

Gregor followed apprehensively, hesitating a bit in front of the fence. "Are you sure this is, like, for public use?" He called.

"Nope!" Katie sang, grinning. "But no one's seen the owner in years, so come on!"

Gregor obeyed. They sat down near the fence, where they could see the car, and looked out at the landscape. The sun hurt Gregor's eyes, but he didn't say anything, only took out his sunglasses. He hadn't been needing them as much the past few years, but he always kept them around, just in case.

"So, Gregor," Katie started, a bit too casually. "How'd you like the songs?"

Gregor hesitated, afraid she had played the songs just to get him to open up. Finally, though, he answered, "They were nice… I just, find them too close for comfort."

"I've always liked how depressing they are." Katie mused. "Always made me feel like my life was better because of them."

"I wish I could feel that way." Gregor said. "But no way can I make romantic gestures like waiting for her, doing everything for her… I don't think I'll ever even see her again."

"Who's she?" Katie's voice was the quiet voice she used when trying to get him to open up. He let it work its magic this time.

"A girl from New York. We sorta hated each other the first few weeks, but after a few months we became best friends. Then… I'm not quite sure when we started liking each other, but a few weeks before we left, and I wasn't sure we were even going to go, we fell in love." Gregor looked away, staring off into the distance. "Well, it was forbidden. There was no way we could really be together, and we lived a pretty dangerous life, so it was a while before we even had time to acknowledge it, but one day, it grew really dangerous, and they split us up. We had an hour together, and that was when we kissed." Gregor closed his eyes. "We had gone through so much together, it seemed just inevitable. And she loved me, even when I had betrayed her. I guess it was partly because I betrayed her to protect her." He sighed. "Anyway, once the danger was over…" He blinked back tears that were pressing against his eyes. He would not cry. "We had a day together. And then we left."

"That's horrible." Katie said. "And you still love each other?"

"I love her. I don't know about her, because we have no way to communicate."

"Oh, right, it was supposed to be forbidden." Gregor shrugged. She could think that.

"Do you think maybe it's been long enough? Maybe you should move on?" Katie sounded so hopeful, like she really wanted him to move on.

"Maybe." He managed to say. "Yeah, I guess I could move on, if I had help." He lied. He had to change the subject, had to stop Katie from thinking about anyone in the Underland. "Is that road trip invitation still there?"

The grin Katie gave him was almost worth it.

Almost.

**Okay, I don't know why this chapter is called Realizations, I didn't exactly know what to call it. Also, the song I put there was 'Man Who Can't Be Moved' by The Script, I really like them, check them out. :)**


	13. Chapter 13 (Sorry, out of titles)

**In return for not updating in quite a while, and because it's my birthday, I'll be giving you guys two today! :) Can't really say about how good they are, but hopefully you'll enjoy it.**

**Jon: Well, probably not, but that depends on how this one ends.**

**Regina: Thanks so much! I know it's not entirely true, but thanks anyway! :) You totally got what I wanted you to, so that makes me feel good too.**

**Enjoy!**

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Katie was chattering away about someone Gregor faintly remembered having a class with. Like always, he had plastered on a face that held as much interest as he could muster for the subject–Katie didn't always need someone to answer, just someone to talk to.

Suddenly Katie wasn't talking about whoever she was talking about, and had switched topics to her cousin and the road trip coming up in two weeks. It had surprisingly taken a while for his mom to agree to it, but after a bit of persuasion from his father–not entirely wanted by Gregor, who was now a bit more than apprehensive about the upcoming trip–she had acquiesced.

"Gregor, I want you to have your phone at all times." She had said, and he had nodded in agreement. "I want you to call me every night, so I know you're safe." _That will be embarrassing_, he had thought, but did not argue against it. "And the moment you want to turn back, you turn back, do you hear me?" Again a nod. "Know when you're in too deep."

There were times that Gregor thought he was in too deep, just by smiling. There were times that he just wanted to drop the mask, go back to the sulky anti-social boy he was before. But he couldn't. He couldn't hurt Katie and Sam like that, to suddenly shut them out again. He wasn't very good friends with anyone else, but it wasn't like he could just suddenly shun the world.

He couldn't worry his parents again, couldn't make them second-guess letting him apply for college outside of the local one, where they could keep an eye on him, or even none at all. He already knew what colleges he wanted to go to, including NYU, and if not for anyone else's interests and feelings, being or seeming social will definitely not hurt his chances of a college accepting him. Of course, even if he got in to NYU and his parents could pay for it (although he had been saving for years for college, and life wasn't as bad now that his father could help pay the bills), there was also a matter of convincing his mother to let him go. Seeming normal and perfectly capable of taking care of himself was the only way he could ever escape Virginia.

"Gregor?" Katie waved a hand over his face. "Gregor, have you even been listening?" The hurt and even despairing face of Katie made Gregor flush with guilt and shame.

"Sorry, thinking about college." He muttered, which wasn't a total lie.

"Oh yeah, you wanna go back to New York, right? NYU?" Katie was a wonderful friend, and always remembered the things you told her, even if you told her only fleetingly, like Gregor had about NYU.

"Yeah, but it's hard to get in, and expensive."

"There's financial aid." Katie smiled and patted his arm comfortingly. "At least try to get in, then figure out if you can go. Better than not trying at all."

"Right. And you want to go to…?" And Katie was off again, talking more about what her major would be than what school she wanted to go to.

"…and of course I don't want to be too far from home, so it's not like I'll go outside of the US–and not Hawii, although I might consider it–Hawii has one of the largest biodiversity spots in the world." Katie wanted to be a wildlife conservationist, and was very passionate about it. She even went out of her way to find out what type of meat she was eating in order to ensure she wasn't endorsing something she didn't agree to–although she was not actually vegan or vegetarian.

"Oh no, asked her about conserving the wildlife again?" Sam said as he joined the two. Katie had a strange way of bottling in her passion until someone asked about it. Sam jokingly psycho-analyzed it the other day, saying that because no one but other wildlife conservationists would think it were annoying and boring, Katie had to learn to hold her tongue in order to be popular. Unsurprisingly, although Katie was still somewhat popular, her hanging out with them had both loosened her tongue somewhat and lessened her own personal need to have many friends. Katie said she wanted to be popular so that she would know more people, so that she could find people worth being good friends with. Gregor and Sam were those people, apparently.

Katie then switched to the indignation she felt that her two closest friends did not share her love of the wild and they would even mock her in it–although her tone was severe, her smile betrayed her seriousness. In the laughter that followed, Gregor was reminded that sometimes the smile was sincere, and those were the times he lived for.


	14. Chapter 14

**Right, here's the second one. The other one is kinda short, but so is this one… Yeah, I'm trying. Tell me what you think, and if this doesn't fit with other things I've said in the story before, I apologize. I'll think up an excuse later on, when you point it out to me. :)**

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"I'll miss you!" Margret said for the fourth time that day.

"I'll only be gone a week, Margret, you won't even notice I've gone." Gregor repeated again.

"Yes, but you've never been gone this long. You're my favorite brother!" Margret was always one for dramatics, so Gregor merely continued his packing, checking his phone once in a while.

"He's your only brother." Lizzie stated. Margret pouted.

"But who will tell me stories now?" She complained.

"Geez, I'll be back before you know it." Gregor sighed. She was difficult as a toddler, but now she was just going back to those days and Gregor was getting tired of her. "It's not like I tell you stories everyday, anyway."

"But you have to agree, it is quite a while." Lizzie said. "I'll tell you the stories, Margret."

"Okay!" The turn of emotions on Margret's part was enough for Gregor's head to spin. He swore she was turning more and more into someone like Katie, and he could barely handle one of her.

"Don't forget a flashlight." Lizzie reminded lowly. "I know you can use echolocation, but you don't want another close call like the one during your sleepover."

Gregor nodded, grabbing a big flashlight and quite a few batteries. Old habits die hard. He even made sure he had a waterproof mini-flashlight, just like the one he used to have, given to him by Mrs. Cormaci. It had saved his life, and so when he saw one just like it, he just had to buy it.

"And remember to bring lots of food, car charger–"

"I know, Liz." Gregor ruffled her hair. "You've reminded me a million times."

"Leave some extra, just in case."

Gregor looked at Lizzie weirdly. It was as if she knew what was to come on the trip before him, and she was preparing him for it. Was it possible she knew something he didn't? Was she planning something he was involved in? Lizzie gave him the most innocent look–not too innocent, so he'd know she was hiding something, but innocent enough for him to believe she really was innocent. He wondered how long she had practiced that.

"Bring a book or two, too."

"I won't have time to read during the trip, Lizzie."

"Bring a thick one, or a hard-cover." She continued, as if he hadn't said anything.

"Why?"

"Just in case you need a weapon." She said it so casually, he hadn't been expecting something like that at all. "And because you can't bring an actual weapon, you'll have to make do with whatever you're given. Maybe you should keep soft-drinks with you too." Gregor stared at her. "Gregor, this is for your own well-being! Do you know the crime rates in the US–"

"Right, thanks, but I really don't think I'll need to use it." There was a hidden wish there, his rager side wanting a fight, wanting to finally show itself, and yet there was also fear, fear of what he was capable of if there was a fight. "But I'm sure my friends will be glad that you prepared me for anything." They exchanged a grin, and hugged–but he didn't miss the tapping of _I love you, be careful_ she made on his back before they parted.

"Patricia Abernathy." Katie's cousin, Pat, shook Gregor's hand. "You're Gregor, right?"

"Yeah. Where's Sam?" He responded.

"We're picking him up right after we leave." Katie just finished closing the trunk, and came over to their side. "Jesus, Gregor, what did you pack? It looks like you're dying over there. Put it in the car."

Gregor gratefully relieved himself from his backpack–it really was heavy, weighed down by a hardbound book of geology that Lizzie insisted he take, plus the incredibly large flashlight. The things he did for his sister.

"All right," Pat grinned and opened the door. "Get in. We've got a long way to go if we're to make it to New Jersey on time." She gave a wink–Katie had obviously told her not to even mention New York around Gregor's family, but she wasn't being very secretive about it.

Unfortunately, a very perceptive and smart sibling of Gregor had seen the wink and connected the dots. He heard her gasp from behind him, but when he had turned around, he couldn't see her. It was too loud and too open for him to find her breathing, but he pushed it out of her mind. Lizzie wouldn't tell. She knew how much going to New York would push their parents to the breaking point. She would wait a little longer, at least, when they were far enough away for Gregor to merely pretend not to have heard the call. Lizzie was on his side.

He hoped, at least, that Lizzie was on his side. He dreaded what would come if she wasn't.


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey, I have an excuse this time for not updating. I've been on vacation, which usually means more time to write, but my family decided to travel, which means many good things and two very bad things. One is that I have to be with a certain group of people ****_*cough* my family *cough*_**** 24/7, which means if they want to do something such as watch a movie, I have to or else they will grumble about how all I do is go on Fanfiction and I never want to hang out with them, and I'll get a lecture. The second thing is that we are out from around 10:30-8:30, even though I usually want to go home by 5. But I finally had time, so here it is! Enjoy! (And Happy New Year!)**

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"Yes!" Pat crooned at the wheel as the sign marking the end of Virginia passed. "New York, here we come!"

Gregor grinned and rolled down the window. He was sitting beside Sam, in the back, and Katie was in the front next to Pat. He hadn't gotten a text or a call, which meant Lizzie hadn't ratted him out, and now they were far enough for him to say he couldn't turn back, or even make up a lie.

"So, Gregor, you're showing us all the best places in New York, right?" Katie asked, turning around to face him. All their faces had smiles on, happiness, and Katie looked as though she had just been freed.

"Sure." Gregor shrugged. "Although, to be honest, I wasn't able to go to that great of places. Our family was sorta struggling with money for a long time."

"That's okay. We can definitely go to the colleges, take some tours."

"Oh yeah, you're going into college next year!" Pat said, and smirked at them from the rearview mirror. "Good luck, nerds."

Gregor was going to respond, but he thought he heard something behind him. He looked back, where the back row had been collapsed to hold their stuff (Pat and Katie each had three bags—absurd!), but he couldn't find anything. Or, anyone. The wind rushing in through the open window made his echolocation weird, so there was no way he could see what was behind a lot of their bags without getting up from his seat.

"Gregor?" Sam was poking him. "Hey, man, you okay?"

Gregor looked away from the back. "Yeah." He searched for an excuse. "I've never gone all that long without my parents before." Lie, obviously, but hopefully they'll believe it. "Not in a long time." He plastered on a smile, which wasn't that hard, since it wasn't all that gone from the start. "This trip will be great, guys!"

A few hoots and cheers came as a response, and they started chatting about people and places, things Gregor pretended to care about. He spent most of it staring out the window, hand out in the wind, and only responded sometimes. Finally, Pat turned on the radio, put it at the highest volume, and she and Katie sang at the top of their lungs. Gregor pretended the loudness didn't affect his ears, sensitive enough for him to use echolocation.

"Hey, turn it down!" Sam said, glancing quickly behind them. "Don't want cops coming. Thought I saw something." The music was immediately turned down, but not the energy coming from Pat and Katie. Gregor heard a noise again, same place as before.

"Hey, guys, can we make a quick stop?" He called. "Need to go to the bathroom."

"Let's stop at a gas station or something," Sam suggested, "Buy food for the trip. Unless you guys brought."

Katie and Pat shook their heads, still singing to the music, and Gregor found himself copying the action. Pat drove to the nearest one.

Gregor got out, and went into the bathroom, while the rest of them bought food. He went out after a considerable amount of time, and went around the car to the trunk. He was going to find out what made the noise, as it wasn't the bags shifting.

Gregor opened the trunk, looking. There was a blanket with some things underneath it, but he couldn't tell what it was. He was going to pull it off, but then thought better of it. There was a reason it was covered, and what if it was something of Pat's that she wouldn't want him to see? Or other people, for that matter. Anyone could see into the trunk and what was in it. He grabbed his bag and rummaged through it instead, as if double-checking its contents, then closed it and the trunk, and went into the store.

"Hey, Pat?" He asked in a low voice.

"Hmm?" Pat grabbed a bag of chips and walked to another aisle.

"What's underneath the blanket in the trunk?"

"What blanket?"

"The blue one. There's something underneath it, I didn't want to see without asking you first."

"I didn't bring any blue blanket."

"Did the others?"

"Don't think so. Check with them, then see what's underneath and tell me."

Gregor obeyed, asking Katie and Sam if they had put the blanket and whatever was under it in the trunk. Neither had. The four of them bought their purchases and raced to the car. Gregor opened it.

"What?" They all muttered. There was no blue blanket.

"Seriously, Gregor?" Pat grumbled, putting a few bags of their food into the trunk and keeping the rest, to bring to the front.

"It was there when I looked. Honest." Gregor said.

There was a giggle. Then the sound of shushing. They were coming from the front of the car, where Gregor could see a peek of a blue blanket, and a grinning face of a little seven-year-old girl.

Crap.

**Okay, I'm going to say it now, before someone reviews about it, but I know absolutely NOTHING about cars. Nothing. So sorry about your image of the car, I can't say I even have one.**

**Another thing. Does Pat work for you guys? Because I swear, I looked back to see what it was and was as confused as heck as to why it was Pat. Sorry if anyone here is named Pat. Patricia's fine, but it seems like she uses Pat more, so… Ugh. Whatever.**

**Hope you enjoyed it, tell me what you think! Even if it is horrible stuff, as long as you say it in a polite and not rude way, and give me reasons and make it constructive criticism, I'm perfectly happy to get them!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Right, okay, here's the next one. Thanks everyone for reviewing!**

**Okay, I found a typo, so I freaked out and fixed it. But Really, there's not change at all, I'm just very particular about that sort of thing.**

**Bobtheguester (Guest): Thanks! I think it comes from what I read. I mean, I'm not al that picky about the writing style of the books I read, but my family is, so I get a pretty good group of books to read. :)**

**Kyprioth: Is this chapter okay? ;) Thanks, I just can't really imagine Gregor going without Boots, but I can't see Boots going on her own, so Lizzie comes too. Okay, the car shall stay with as little description as I will end up using, seeing as I have no love for cars. :P**

**Regina: Eleven for Lizzie, that I knew… This is before Boots turns eight? Actually, no, I just did the math wrong. Thanks. I'll put in her birthday somewhere there and we'll be right on track again. :)**

**Again, thanks everyone for continuing on with this, even though I suck at updating regularly and stuff. Enjoy!**

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"What are you doing here?" Gregor demanded. They had dragged Margret and Lizzie out of the car, and at least Lizzie was mature enough to look guilty.

"You're going to New York." She said quietly.

"Yeah, and only New York."

"I wanted to come too."

"Do you have any idea how mom and dad are feeling right now?"

"They deserve it!" Lizzie burst out, suddenly.

"How can you say that, Elizabeth?" Gregor shouted back, incredulous.

"They're the reason we're in Virginia. They're the reason we can't be happy–"

"Lizzie, that's not true–" He interrupted, but she continued on like he never spoke.

"Why we have to live in secret! Why we can't talk freely! Why the sun hurts my eyes every time I leave the house, why you have trouble with your temper–"

"I'd still have trouble with my temper–"

"But you'd have learned to control it by now! Ripred would have taught you enough!"

"Lizzie, no matter what, mom and dad did what they thought was right."

"And it wasn't right. Not for us."

"What about Margret? She was doing fine–"

"Fine? She's forgotten everything!"

"That's not necessarily a bad thing, Lizzie! She had finally stopped asking where everyone was, stopped talking about it, talking in other languages, all of those things! She's doing fine in school, has friends."

"She doesn't remember. They'll have her screaming at rats and bats and cockroaches just like we used to."

"That's normal, here!"

"But do you really want that to happen?"

"Let her speak for herself!"

"I gave her a choice to come or not, and she wanted to come!"

"And of course, you sugarcoated it so that she'd come. You didn't mention the bad stuff."

"What bad stuff?"

"The violence, the deaths."

"Ripred's a pacifist now, and so is Luxa."

"Doesn't mean there's no danger."

"Look, we're going. Just, take us with you. Okay? I'll be out of your hair once we reach New York. Margret and I will go. You can stay up here, miserable your entire life for all I care." Lizzie turned away and stepped into the car. "And don't worry, I packed for both of us."

"You packed for all of us." He whispered. "You knew."

"They were your ride." Lizzie smirked. "You wouldn't have been as nice to them unless they would do something useful for you."

"How dare you suggest that."

"You spend years wallowing in your misery, and then suddenly you have friends? The only one of us who has real friends is Margret, because everyone's her friend! Gregor, I know what it's like to hang around people who care a little bit, because you know there will be no one else, because you want someone to understand so badly, you'll take anyone you can. And I know what it's like to end up silent at the table, wishing the people there were different, were people who, although they don't know your favorite color or your favorite pastime, they know how you act when you're nervous, when you're in control, when you're mad. They know how to calm you down, how to call your bluff when you're lying. They have your back. These people aren't like that, Gregor. And we all know it."

"I'm _trying_."

"And now you don't have to! Come with me. See Ripred and Luxa and Howard and Hazard again."

"What will happen to mom and dad…"

"Call them, text them or something before we go."

"I get to see her again?"

"Unless she's died."

"Don't _say_ that!"

"I'm being honest! And she hasn't died as far as I know, so unless she's died between yesterday and the day we meet, she'll be alive."

"How do you–"

"Mrs. Cormaci and I have become very close correspondents."

"You're joking."

"She's kept and eye on them. Now come on. The sooner we get there, the sooner we can go."

Gregor glanced at their companions, who were just standing there, gaping at them, aside from Margret, who was happily munching on chips in the car.

"Gregor, are we going to that place?" She asked. He nodded, mutely.

"Guys… I can explain." He said to his 'friends.'

"You don't need to." Katie said bluntly. "There's a place in New York that you had lots of friends in, and you want to go back."

"Yes!" Lizzie said quickly, giving Gregor a pointed look. _Don't tell anyone the truth, you idiot. _She tapped out to him. He looked away from her.

"So let's go." He said, getting into the car. "Margret and Lizzie can sit in the back, if we pull it up."

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**I didn't exactly mean it to be completely dialogue, but… Does it work anyway? Does it seem OOC, including the characters I made up? After all, it doesn't matter how I see the characters, it's how you see it and if they're close enough, then I've done my job. :) **


	17. Chapter 17

**Gr… Fanfiction won't let me manage my stories! This has been here for a while, but… **

**Whoa, this is getting long...**

**Thanks for the reviews, I'm not going to name everyone, but if you reviewed, I'm talking to you ;)**

**Enjoy!**

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The silence in the car was oppressive. It was swirling around, free and yet confined to the car, clogging up his lungs and suffocating him.

Then again, maybe it wasn't the silence. After all, the radio was on, quiet and some random station no one cared about, so it wasn't really silent.

Awkwardness, anxiety. That's what it was. No one was speaking, although everyone wanted to speak, including him, but they couldn't because of the poisonous fumes that had found their way into the car after his and Lizzie's fight. They were dying, slowly.

Or maybe it was just him. Maybe he was just dying because Lizzie had spoke the truth, because at any time the three people in the car not related to him could turn on him, torture him for information, which he would give gladly despite Lizzie's protests. Maybe he was dying from the smoke of the burning bridges between him and nearly everyone in the car.

But not everyone. Lizzie was tapping, as if a careless tapping, but he and he alone could decipher it into the words it meant. _It's okay. It'll be fine soon. Calm down. You're doing what's right. I love you, and I understand._

Lizzie was his only friend up in the Overland, he realized. Only real friend, no matter how hard he and the others tried to create a good relationship.

_I know. _He tapped out quietly.

"So, Gregor, who're you going to meet?" Katie asked suddenly, making Gregor jump.

"Uh… Well, depending on if they're there or not–" He started.

"Mrs. Cormaci." Lizzie interrupted.

"I wasn't talking to you." Gregor's sensitive ears heard Katie mutter. "Who's she, Lizzie?" She asked in a louder voice. Gregor ignored the first part. No matter what, they were still his ride.

"She was our neighbor when we used to live in New York." Lizzie answered politely.

"Oh, will she be in your old apartment? Could we see it, Gregor?" Katie asked, and the excitement in her voice was so fake, Gregor nearly snapped at her.

"Don't think so." Gregor said instead. "We don't live there anymore, and I doubt the new tenants would appreciate us barging in like that." _No, you can't go with us to the Underworld,_ Gregor meant. _I know you're asking if you can come with us, but you can't. You really don't want to._

"Hey, I'm gonna take a quick detour, okay?" Pat suddenly asked. "It's getting late and I want to stop driving." She veered off without waiting for a response, turning up the music and changing the station to a really loud rock song she apparently knew. The conversation was over.

They vetoed the first few motels, and instead asked the people in the next Starbucks where the nearest hotel was. Turns out, 'near' was relative, and deep in a forest.

They had been driving for hours, and Lizzie and Margret were asleep in the back, and so was Sam, Katie complaining that they should just turn back and go to that last motel. Pat was obviously tired, but still adamant about going to that hotel. They were arguing so loudly it was a wonder people were still asleep. Then again, it was midnight already.

At first, Gregor had thought it was a tunnel. He wasn't sure if even Pat of Katie had noticed the change in scenery, they were so into their argument. Gregor thought she was barely even registering the turns, and wasn't even noticing the roads that branched out from the road they were on.

Then the tunnel didn't seem to end, was way too steep, and got smaller and smaller and definitely didn't look like a man-made tunnel anymore and Gregor got suspicious. Pat and Katie did, too. They tried to stop and look around, but the car kept rolling, and wouldn't stop. Mist started floating past the car, and could be seen through the window.

Pat and Katie screamed, which, due to their loud fight, wasn't much louder than Gregor or the rest of the travelers were used to, but everyone woke up.

Sam started screaming right off the bat, and only screamed louder when he looked out the window and the front. Margret, bless her soul, was yelling "Whee!" as loudly as she could. A quick glance backwards told Gregor that her hands were up as well.

"Put on your seatbelts!" He yelled as loudly as he could. "And be quiet!"

Somehow, it worked. The older ones were whimpering, but were quiet now, and Margret was asking Gregor when the ride was going to stop. _She must think she's in a dream,_ Gregor thought. _Not before, when she was two, but now she can't be that dumb to think it were a ride._

They would be fine. That was the only way Gregor could keep from freaking out. They would be fine and they would stop eventually and they could figure this out and he needed to be strong.

"Gregor, I'm pretty sure I've never heard of this entrance." Lizzie's voice came through. He could hear the underlying panic in them, but also a sort of thrill. They were going back.

Gregor thought for a while, before remembering something Vikus had said a long, long time ago. "There are five entrances. Two of them lead to the deadlands, two the waterway, one the one we've gone through–the one down. One of the ones in the waterway lead to central park. Hopefully, this one leads to the deadlands and not the waterway. We'd never survive the waterway, not unless an ally found us before the hungry did."

"Do you think the car will fit?"

"I doubt it, but it seems to be fitting now." He responded.

"What are you guys talking about?" Sam whispered, eyes darting around in fright.

"Here, I have a couple bags." Lizzie said, handing over paper bags. "They help with the panic attacks." The tunnel was pretty smooth, and as long as you didn't look outside or let go and fall face-first, you could believe you were just driving calmly.

Sam passed two of the bags to Katie and Pat, who were looking as panicked as he was.

And then, Gregor and Lizzie (and occasionally Margret) told them about the Underland.

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**Er… To tell you the truth, they were supposed to meet Mrs. Cormaci and go down a safer way, but obviously that wasn't what happened.**

**Please tell me if there are typos or any other errors, I have carpal tunnel syndrome and am not supposed to be writing with my right hand, but I'm just not using my thumb, which in either case will lead to some errors. Thanks for reading!**


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